Do you ever find it tricky to concentrate during sex? Whether with a spouse or all alone, do you find your mind wandering away or just feel like it is unbearable to pay attention to whatever pleasing activity you are trying to perform? It is a very common problem! Being aware is a skill that is not just about sex. Recent surveys show that getting trained to be more attentive in other aspects of life can help you be more present during sex as well. So, here is an effective exercise to assist you to learn about being more mindful that you can do use in every part of your life. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for two minutes every day. Although it is very simple yet it is quite effective. Just spend two minutes meditating “Breathe in, breathe out”. Follow the ambiances of your lungs filling and evacuating. Pay attention to the sound, how the air feels as it moves in and out of your lungs. When stray opinions come, admit that they are stray thoughts and try to focus again.  Don’t get distressed, it is not a bad thing to have a lost thought.  It is completely normal.  Just identify that it is not what you want to focus on now, and go back to your breathing. Meditative prayer. We know, people get a bit odd when you talk about meditation and sex together. We want you to have an impressive sex life with your wife or girlfriend. As with the exercise above, block off some time to pray for your physical relation with your partner. Start with a couple of minutes every day. Yet again, distinguish when your mind wanders, and refocus. This will also help you absorb to be more alert. It will also help disperse any negative state of mind that sex is sinful or immoral. Those illogical beliefs can play a part to “checking out” during sex to evade the feeling of being guilty. Focus on the sensations. During sex, think about what and how every portion of your body is feeling. Just go over with the different feelings and concentrate on them. Don’t try to pass judgment on the feelings, or ponder if you should be relishing them. Just recognize what you are feeling. Learn to identify and experience satisfying sensations without judging them. Likely you have performed this activity several times before. You don’t need to criticize its morality all over again this time around.

Focus on what you, or your partner, are doing. Relate the story of your sex session. Many women find this mainly useful. You don’t have to express, just keep it inside. Start simple and keep describing through the changes. It can support sync your body and mind keeping you more present than you ever were. Keep talking during sex.

If you want to take the previous activity on to the next level, then try out some bedroom and pillow talk. Your mind can’t drift away while you are talking. It simply doesn’t work. Pay attention to your sex partner. If you have a habit of to drifting off while your spouse is performing acts on you, then change the dynamic. Change roles and be the aggressor. Start concentrating on giving your sex partner pleasure instead. It is hard to lose your focus while you have an active role. Looking for body language, making slight adjustments, trying to get the utmost delightful experience for your lover requires focus. Change what you are doing. If you are observing that your mind keeps wandering, try altering up the position or acts. A change compels our brain to refocus and give you that further edge you require to stay present. Limit distractions. Shut off any distraction so your mind does not gets disturbed. Turn the lights off if you are concerned about how you look. Clean up your room if your mind drifts to things like laundry or messy bookshelf. Get rid of everything that takes your focus off during sex. Concentrate on the visuals.

If body image is not a massive diversion during sex, increase the visuals. This involves another part of the mind. Turn in the lights or light candles if you are fearful of how you look. Candle light is more sympathetic and romantic than light-bulbs. Masturbate front of a mirror to give even more visuals and increase your confidence. Our brains have a tendency to focus on the images of people taking part in sex, even if it is ourselves. Give yourself time to warm up. Fantasy is a mutual shortcut to stimulation, but it is like walking down a dark lane, or fastening a ride from another individual. It might get you there quicker, but might not be safe. Slow down, take the time to get appropriately aroused. Think about what you require to get turned on enough as you would expect. Be more engaged. Take a more energetic role in your live making. Wives in specific have acknowledged that they can develop as “lazy lovers” during marriage. Learn how to be more sexually active and we assure you that you will find it easier to be more present during sex.

Agree that your mind might stroll. It happens, and it is quite normal.  Don’t get disappointed or irritated. Like the mindfulness movement above, just identify the stray thought, and let it go. Envision it as a weed in your lawn. Pull it out, and swap it with a thought you would rather have there. Recognize the need and choose properly. When you find yourself backing out, getting unfocused, or daydreaming, recognize the choice in front of you and your own need. For example, would you rather be scheduling the doctor’s appointment, or making love to your wife or girlfriend? Or would you rather be enjoying a fantasy that you can’t feel or directly experience, or focus on the warm and pleasurable body of your sex partner? The choice is yours.